Warning: Adventists don’t get rich!

 

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Thanks to guest blogger for this light hearted post!

Whether I want to become wealthy, financially free or become  poorer I just need to take the same approach.  It’s all about doing what it takes consistently and sustaining that effort over time.

These are the seven actions I’ve seen work best for Adventists in the UK or anywhere else in the world as it happens.

So if you want to avoid becoming wealthy or financially free ….read on!

  1. Don’t read the Bible, especially Proverbs.  Ladies, tear out the page with the secrets of Proverbs 31 and destroy it quickly.  If you do stumble across any Gospel parables, discount all of Jesus’ parables about money.  Tell yourself these parables are only talking about skills and personal talents, not financial management. And shun anyone who shows you bible-based information on wealth.
  2.  Avoid all workshops or seminars that share bible-based money management like the plague.  Be very suspicious of all experienced presenters that are willing to share practical information about money management with you… they must surely be dodgy characters.
  3. Avoid organising a Stewardship Day to share bible-based money management – in fact avoid Stewardship altogether.  Members aren’t interested and don’t need it. But if you are ever forced to run a Financial Stewardship session,  make sure you never include any personal development information; make the speaker just bang on about Tithe or your church Building Fund.  Guilt trip members by telling them God is not pleased. Then quote Malachi 3:10 and remind them “money is the root of all evil so get rid of it by increasing your giving to the church”.
  4. Never ask any questions or do independent investigation of shady deals,  suspicious business or investment opportunities  – if it’s too good to be true, suspend all scepticism… go for it.  What’s the worst that could happen??  And when you do lose your shirt on the scam – blame your pastor, the local church, the Conference Treasurer.  Everyone. Loudly.
  5. Then double down and play the lottery.  For a lot of money. Consistently. Keep your tickets in the Bible… for good luck.  Or take out a high interest debt ‘in faith’ with no way to pay it back… the Lord or the Conference office will provide.   Delay getting any help until the date of any court date… then call the Conference office – a problem shared is a problem halved, not so?
  6. Never be accountable for or do ANY financial housekeeping.  Never save money for a ‘rainy day’. Ever. That is what your local church’s Samaritan Fund is for.  And if you have children, never teach them any money management tips either – you need them to be always financially dependent on you.
  7. Live in the now – don’t prepare for the future.  Never learn how to maximise your income or reduce your expenses. Tell yourself Jesus will come in your lifetime so don’t plan for retirement. On no account make a Will.  Not only can it mysteriously cause you to drop dead earlier than expected, but you definitely don’t need clear plans that state your wishes, leave any security or give inheritance for “your children’s children”  (Prov 13:22 – oops, I’ve slipped up…)

On 12 January 2014 many members in the South of England, UK  attended the “SMARTER Finances” Workshop at the annual SEC Expo, held at Newbold College.  The aim was to share resources to help volunteers in Stewardship and Finance teams in their local churches.

In the  SMARTER Finances workshop we covered:

  • The common myths about money and explained how anyone can have SMARTER Finances.
  • Explain why you do what you do with your money
  • Show how  SMARTER Finances Clubs help members on the Wealth Life Cycle.
  • Shared great stories and tips from other members.

More information on how I got on in another blog!

Deborah Harris is a chartered accountant, board director of DHUA Limited and a Platinum πτο Sorority sister.

Know any other good reasons for not becoming wealthy?  Please share!

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